10 Things men should know about women

I’ve been hanging out with my guy friends recently and what a learning experience it has been. After listening to them whine about the women in their lives I’ve decided men need to know a few things before jumping into that next relationship.

  1. Don’t B.S. us about commitment. If you want to romp in the corn patch with us for a while but aren’t looking for anything serious then just say so. Maybe we feel the same. At least honesty gives us the chance to make a decision based on truth. Not every woman is looking for a husband.
  2. We don’t like hate e-mail. I despise this! I actually had an ex send me the cruelest e-mail telling me how immature I am. If you have something to say, grow up and tell us to our face. Trust me, we can handle it.
  3. When we’re at the gym, we’re trying to work out. Unless we start giving you the eye or sticking our butt in your face while on the treadmill, leave us alone. I hate going to the gym anymore because it’s such a meat market.
  4. We don’t like bitching and complaining. I’ve heard some guy friends talk about their girlfriends and say how they love drama and are always making up things to be upset about. Hmmmm, I kind of find it hard to believe that women like being upset. I’m sure there are drama queens but hey if you’re with her, you picked her too. Time to take some responsibility.
  5. We don’t like jealousy displays. Instead of saying that your girlfriend is jealous and insecure, maybe you shouldn’t be kissing other women in front of her. Call me crazy but that doesn’t help your relationship.
  6. We don’t like to smell your farts or listen to your burps. I know that’s hard to believe, but really, save that for your guy friends.
  7. Never tell us we look fat, in any context, even if we ask. That’s what why we have girlfriends.
  8. When we walk away or get out of the car we want you to follow us and talk it out. Don’t just drive away and leave us abandoned in the South side of Chicago.
  9. We like guys who are on time. There are few things worse than a man who is perpetually late. Once in a while is fine, but if you’re constantly 20 or more minutes late get a better watch. Also, be where you’re supposed to pick us up. There’s nothing worse than finding out your man was waiting “at the other side of the mall.”
  10. Finally, please, whatever you do, don’t walk around grabbing your crotch. Females do have intelligence and we already know your anatomy. Unless you’re on stage making millions as a rapper, you just look like an idiot.
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