What makes a woman hot?

What does it mean to be hot? Many people start thinking of a woman with perfect skin, a perfect body, and a walk that makes you think of sex. They begin imagining a woman in a tight dress with a suggestive smile. However it actually goes deeper then that.

For most of my life, I have considered myself plain. Not ugly, necessarily, but There had been a point in my life where my looks no longer concerned me, and I was happy with who I was certainly not someone who would attract attention with her looks. I was not going to make anyone draw back in abject terror, there was no elephant man here. But I also was not going to be the sort of woman you would call hot or sexy.

However I later discovered that my concept of what was hot, was terribly flawed. I had heard both the words hot and sexy used with my name at various times and I had to stop to wonder why. The sex fairy had not come and touched me in the middle of the night, but obviously there was some sort of difference in how I was perceived.

I eventually discovered what the difference was. It wasn’t how I looked; it was how I felt. There had been a point in my life where my looks no longer concerned me, and I was happy with who I was. And that was when I learned what makes a woman hot.

Does she feel important? A woman who thinks of herself as someone important makes other people believe the same thing. When a woman feels that her thoughts and opinions matter, others believe it to be so. A woman that is not afraid to share her mind (with tact), is a woman confident in herself. Confidence is sexy.

Is she happy with herself? Yes, it is true that it is difficult to be happy with every aspect of yourself all the time. We are human, and we are flawed. However, it is possible to recognize those flaws and still be happy with the good things you have to offer. A hot woman doesn’t feel that appearance is the most important thing she has to offer, so she is no longer primarily concerned with only that. She’s happy with how she looks and isn’t too concerned with what others may think of her appearance. She realizes that someone else’s opinions on how she looks are not really very important. She is happy with herself and secure in who she is. Security is sexy.

Most importantly, does she feel sexy? Sexiness is a state of mind, not a physical attribute. A woman that feels sexy is sexy. When a woman feels sexy, it shows in her attitude and in her personality. She walks differently and she talks differently. Those that are around her notice the difference. It is not that she looks any different, it is that she is thinking differently. What she feels affects what others may think about her. As long as she knows she is sexy, other people are going to see the same thing.

Those three things are what changed my perception on what was hot. It wasn’t how I looked or how I dressed. It was how I felt and what I thought of myself. Once I was no longer concerned about my appearance, it showed. I felt good, and because I felt good I looked good. Those around me could tell the difference. People are not only attracted to appearance. Self-confidence plays a big role in attraction.

What you look like doesn’t determine whether you are hot. (Regardless of what www.hotornot.com may imply.) It all depends on how you feel, and what you think of yourself. People are not attracted to pretty women that are constantly down on themselves. People are attracted to women that feel good about themselves. Self-confidence is sexy. That is what makes a woman hot. Not looks, not clothes, but attitude. A hot woman is a woman that feels good about herself.

Keep in mind that this does not apply only to women. This applies to men as well. While a tight bum and rippling six pack can be very nice, it is nothing if the man underneath is unsure of himself. A hot man is one that is secure and feels good. He’s not second-guessing what he thinks, or how he looks. He is comfortable with himself and who he is. That is a sexy man, and that is what makes a man hot.

While the cliche might be old and corny, it still is very true. It’s what’s inside, that really counts. Feeling hot is all it takes to actually be hot.

Kitashla See all posts by this author
is a mother, a writer, a gamer and a thespian, and holds a degree in history and psychology.
  • I personally do not see the words “hot” and “sexy” as quite interchangeable. If someone tells me that a woman is hot, I’m expecting her to have a good body, figure, skin.. as you described. I see sexiness come across in actions – how a woman moves, smiles, talks, adjusts her hair, carries herself, etc.. I have personally seen women that I do not find very attractive be sexy, and I have seen women who are hot that I do not think are pretty.

    Obviously, this is just semantics, but I thought it might add a slightly different perspective to your point. I completely agree with the idea presented here, though… confidence is the sexiest quality in either gender :)

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