Ways to deal with a break up

Everyone at some point in their life will go through a terrible break-up and the pain will be unavoidable, even if it was perpetuated by them. I don’t have to tell you that, because you know, you’ve been there in the moments when you can’t eat, can’t sleep, and can’t control the unbelievable sadness. However, after the first few months pass, the lost feeling of control wanes and your sense of self returns, you find yourself to be a much stronger person. You might even be a better person because of the break-up, which I know is pretty hard to fathom when you’re right in the thick of one.

However, there are some steps you can take to ensure a speedy, healthy recovery.

Every time you text or call or vice versa, you are just prolonging the healing period.Whenever a break up occurs, a lot of people jump to alcohol or drug use, followed shortly by sleeping with someone else. I can tell you from experience this is a bad idea. While, I personally recommend one or two benders, it’s not really in your best interest and definitely isn’t a long-term solution. You’re twice as likely to over-consume, get drunk and make bad decisions. And this could spell disaster if you don’t have a solid group of friends. As for sleeping with someone else right away, you’ll usually regret it as it will only deepen your sadness.

Be sure to throw away all of the items that remind you of your ex. While they mean something to you, they are only driving in the nail a little bit more every day. If you can’t truly part with one or two things, ask a friend to hold on to them until you’re ready.

Cut off communication with your ex. Every time you text or call or vice versa, you are just prolonging the healing period. You might wind up having break-up sex with them and 9 out of 10 times, you don’t get back together. If you really do want to be friends in the end, you have to take the necessary break to be able to process your feelings and start new again.

Start working out. Exercising raises your endorphins and immediately puts you in a better mood, so it will not only help make you happier, but it will also make you healthier. You will feel better about yourself and even look better, helping you get out into the game faster.

And finally, as I stated above, avoid sleeping around at first. It’s only going to make things worse. It might feel like a fix at the time, but you’ll most likely regret it the next morning. Instead, spend some time getting to know yourself. This is a great time to really embark upon a solo relationship with yourself. Go out and buy that sex toy you’ve been looking at for awhile–whether it be a fantastic vibrator with all the twists and turns you could ever want or a well-griped fleshlight. This will keep you satisfied and help you learn more about yourself and what you want. If you’re in need of some help in this department, jump over to Adam and Eve, where you can find hundreds of options.

Break ups are terrible. The only real solution is time and a lot of epic albums on repeat. Follow my advice and life will be easier and you’ll heal faster, but it’s still going to take awhile. So just take it one day at a time and on the days it’s really awful, just buy yourself some nice shoes. It always works for me.

Cathleen Howard See all posts by Cathleen
Cathleen is a BADASSCHICK™ contributor and writes about the ups and downs of love and relationships.
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