Therapeutic Massage: Nothing sensual about it

I’ve been a massage therapist for about 18 years now and have come across an issue that needs some attention. Massage doesn’t mean sex.

Guys, if the sign or ad says therapeutic massage then hopefully that’s what you’re going to get. There is nothing worse to a professional massage therapist then some guy on my table rubbing his ass in a circular motion while I’m trying to give him a back rub. Of course now that’s just a great reason to use my elbows on his back before I get his money and kick his ass out.

Do you think I want to stare at the crack of your ass when I’m giving you a massage?

When this sort of thing first happened to me I was fresh out of school and shocked when I turned a man over to massage his legs and the towel was sticking up 6 inches. I mean come on. How is that supposed to be a comfortable situation? Do you really think I can concentrate on massaging this person when his penis is sticking straight up in the air. Talk about creepy.

Once I even had a guy who insisted it was too hot for a towel, and that they don’t use them in Europe anyway. I just laugh, tell him this isn’t Europe and the towel stays or I don’t. I swear they will try anything. One guy started walking around the spa completely naked and talking to people like nothing. I was cracking up so hard because it was totally innocent. He was just very comfortable with his body. There is a difference between that and the guy who is asking you if you do more when you say the massage is over. If I’m in a good mood, I will let them know where to get this sort of thing. I understand that there are really desperate psychos out there that need some stupid slut to give them pleasure. What pisses me off is that these stupid sluts call this sort of pleasuring massage.

I’ve had guys come out of the changing room and lay on my table naked after I told them to wrap themselves with a towel. Then when I cover their ass they wonder why. Do you think I want to stare at the crack of your ass when I’m giving you a massage? Even if I was attracted to you I wouldn’t want to stare at that.

There are ways to find out if a place is legitimate by asking if they do a “full body massage”. I always say I do 98% of the body. This is a nice way of saying I don’t do penis. I know at times it can be stimulating to get a massage if you’re a man. I have had some really nice guys get an erection and apologize. There is a difference between that and the guy who is stroking himself while your doing his neck. It baffles me. I mean what the hell are these people thinking?

Massage can be a very healthy habit. It enhances your immune system, improves circulation, lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, increases lymphatic drainage, tones muscles, increases flexibility, etc. It has been used to heal people for thousands of years. Treat it with respect. As for you perverts that think you’re going to get a quick hand job from a massage therapist, go get a body shampoo instead!

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is an artist and writer.
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