Spring is in the air

I know this because the plants are fornicating and as a result, my allergies are on the upswing. The days are getting longer — and warmer. And I’m finding that the amount of convertibles on the road has risen drastically.

Which brings to mind, of course, matters of the heart. All of us single people are out The following day, we would part as friends knowing that we’d be in touch soon. It was almost like having an entire relationship over the course of 24 hours. trawling for the next “victim.” Some of us may get lucky and find the right one, but a majority of us are going to be left out in the cold. Don’t get me wrong, I like being single — no one telling me what to do, when to do it or whom to do it with. But sometimes I feel like something’s missing: Intimacy.

I’m sure most people would agree with me. If only there were a way to achieve intimacy without any hang-ups or awkwardness. Then it occurred to me. Something that I had engaged in many years ago — sex with a friend, or “sport fucking” as so many of my male friends like to call it.

I was good friends with this one guy that used to play in a band that I had done PR for in the 1980’s. We kept in touch over the years and re-connected back in the mid 90’s. Every month or so, we would go out on a date (a motorcycle ride, go out on his boat, out to dinner, etc.) and then we’d go back to my place or his and spend the next 12 hours scratching each other’s itches. The following day, we would part as friends knowing that we’d be in touch soon. It was almost like having an entire relationship over the course of 24 hours.

The key thing here was a definite chemistry. More than that, though, was a mutual respect and trust. We had a compatibility that was good in small doses. I have a feeling that if we ended up hooking up exclusively, we would have driven each other nuts and wrecked a perfectly good arrangement, not to mention friendship. Did I feel used? No, that’s where the mutual respect comes in. We would both get something out of it. I would have to say that maintaining a level of emotional detachment was the hardest part, though, because I did genuinely like the guy. We actually engaged in some really deep conversations on our “dates.” But you have to be realistic and know your boundaries.

And the beautiful part is that you get it out of your system — and you know that it’s there if you need it in the future. Plus you still have a good friend. You’re free to go out there and hunt for the “one” without that look of desperation that everyone else seems to be sporting these days.

I actually have several friends that engage in this philosophy — both male and female. You might be surprised how many of your friends may be doing this as well. In a world where there are so many lonely people, this presents itself as a welcome alternative to burying one’s nose in a book on a Saturday night.

So shelve that Harlequin and call a good friend…..try it, you’ll like it!

Andrea See all posts by Andrea
is a BADASSCHICK Magazine™ contributor
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