She is such a slut

Nothing irritates me more then to hear one woman call another woman a slut. Perhaps it is just a hang over of old high school pettiness, but there is something wrong when a woman judges another because of her sexuality.

As women we have spent the last few decades throwing off centuries of sexual repression

I am not talking about when the insult is used on a woman that has sex with another woman’s man. I despise women whose sole joy in life is to break up relationships. I understand that connotation completely. But most of the time it is used to insult a woman that has sex. And then has the audacity to enjoy it.

As women we have spent the last few decades throwing off centuries of sexual repression. We were the good girls. We had no value to anyone unless we were virgins. And once we were married, god forbid we actually enjoy sleeping with our mate. I’ve found documentation that used to be handed out to young wives that taught them how to keep from having sex with their husbands. Because sex was bad. Sex was evil, and any woman that enjoyed it was a depraved being.

In some cases she was considered psychotic, a mental case. In the Victorian Era asylums were full of women who claimed to enjoy sex. There is a reason that the first vibrator was created to calm “psychotic” women.

A woman’s body was not her own. She had no say in what was done to it. She was obligated to put out or keep her legs shut when told. She was property and her sexual life was not hers to control.

So much hate and so much belittlement can be tied up in that one little sentence. “She’s such a slut.”

Now centuries later, we have thrown off those shackles. In a few short decades we have become free to do what we wished. Our partners are of our choosing. We may have sex with whomever we want and whenever we want. Or we don’t have to have it at all. It’s all up to us. It is our decision. And many will not judge us for it.

With the exception of our own. Women can be some of the most venom tongued spiteful people to ever hurl an insult.

Coming from a man, the word slut does not mean so much. It can almost be empowering. Most men enjoy being around women that are comfortable in their sexuality. The few that would use it as an insult can never give it quite the right amount of sting, since it does come from a man. Goodness, for centuries society has encouraged men to be exactly what the insult implies.

However, from a woman it can cut closer to the bone. So much hate and so much belittlement can be tied up in that one little sentence. “She’s such a slut.” Spoken in the high school hallways, it has the ability to break ones reputation completely. Spoken in a work place, it can cause stress at your job. Spoken among friends and a woman could find herself estranged from people that she once considered her closest friends.

But why is she such a slut? Usually, when asked it’s because she has sex. When asked if the insulter has sex, she’ll usually reply that of course she does. However, that does not make her a slut for some reason.

Sometimes it can be just because someone dresses seductively. Or because they talk about sex on occasion. Technically, it doesn’t matter why because the reason for it is almost always wrong.

Coming from the mouth of a woman, the word slut can hurt like no other insult. Being judged by someone that should be sticking by you can throw you for quite a loop. And it would seem the women reserve this word for people they hate the most. Using as its basis, “She has sex.”

Honey, we’ve spent eons doing what other people wanted with our sex lives. Now is our time and our place. We have sex with whom we want. Or with no one. The point is no matter what, the decision is ours to make and no one else’s. And whatever that decision may be should have no affect on your life.

For the woman that enjoys using the word slut to describe her enemies (cheating enemies aside) perhaps it would be appropriate to call them “frigid”. It’s probably not any more true then the slut statement is but it just might make them stop and think what the base of their insults are.

Kitashla See all posts by this author
is a mother, a writer, a gamer and a thespian, and holds a degree in history and psychology.
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