Many attempts have been made to refute the advancements of technology. These days modern purists tell us that it is the downfall of civilization, and the certain ultimate cause of our demise. This may be true, however, I have a story to tell about one of it’s advantages.
The Internet is the most vast form of mass communication available today. Millions of users laugh, surf, play, cry, and masturbate each day. You read articles of how people meet and fall in love over the Internet, find long lost siblings, birth parents, and soul mates. Did I ever think that I would emotionally prosper from such a vessel? Find a deep, sincere and everlasting love? Of course not.
Then one day …she found me. This happened in 2000, long before Facebook, Match, or eHarmony.
So one day while surfing I found this link online to a place called Badasschick. I thought the name sounded cool, so I went and checked it out. I thought “Wow, about time there was a place that wasn’t angry women but self-assured, confident and gorgeous women.” Or the other spectrum, guys ranking on It was almost saddening becoming so close … especially since she lived 2000 miles away women. So I wandered around, reading articles, looking at the pictures and thought “I am going to mention this site on MY Web site.” So I looked around for an image to use and found a cool postcard of some of the girls’ butts in a row. Being the conscientious person that I am, I sent an email to badasschick.com to let them know I was using the image on my server and if they wanted me to remove it, to please let me know.
I got this email from someone named Kim asking permission to use an image from Badasschick.com as a linkback on her page. I saw no harm in it, so I obliged. The address to her Web site appeared in the footer of her mail, so I decided to pay it a visit. I poked around reading some of her thoughts, viewing her images, etc. In the next several days, I received some more emails, about articles she posted on other sites saying how she enjoyed Badsasschick.com. Remembering that I saw her IM address on her site, I decided to add her to my list to thank her for her comments.
Then I get an IM from some guy named AngryGuy, saying he is with Badasschick. I thought “Hmm kinda weird, a guy saying he is with BadassCHICK.?” He seemed harmless enough, and so we started talking. Mostly about Badasschick and internet / Web site shit. He seemed pretty knowledgable and seeing as I am always looking to learn new stuff, I picked his brain and asked his opinion about a few things. That, I guess, is how we started our friendship:) We seemed to have quite a bit in common…and sure enough, before long, we were talking about more personal things like tastes in music, movies, and websites.
After talking to her for a while, things between us started to change. We had lots of things in common, but it was more than than just movies and music. Deeper things. Things about human behavior, theories, future goals. It was then that I started seeing her a little differently. Never had I met someone whose words were spoken so much like my own. We talked on the phone, exchanged pictures, and much more. It was almost saddening becoming so close … especially since she lived 2000 miles away. Then one day we messaged each other while I was getting ready to leave to go on a cruise. It was then she sent me an MP3 that REALLY touched my heart. The whole time I was in the Bahamas, I missed seeing her on IM, or hearing her voice. It was torturous.
When he went on that cruise to the Bahamas with his niece, I realized I had really missed him. When he got back, he sent me an email – but it was the picture attached to it that touched me. He wrote in the white Bahamian sand “Wish you were here” and took a picture of it to send me. It was the small things he did like that which made me smile. The MP3 I sent him was from a CD I had not listened to in quite some time. I popped it in on the way to work just before he left for the cruise. There was a song on that CD which I hadn’t heard before. (See what happens when you buy a CD for one song!) Before I even heard 30 seconds of it, I cried and thought “My God, this is about HIM.” That’s when it all just fell into place for me. In that one moment in my truck, on my way to work. I can’t explain it any other way. It all felt right.
I was working on my computer with a client looking over my shoulder when I received a message from Kim. Of course we playfully tossed around the idea of her leaving the We only met two months prior, and via email. Will he make me feel in real life like he did in the messages and emails and phone calls? snow-ridden mountains to be with me here in the tropics, but it was the contents of her message that grabbed my heart and squeezed it. The message said: “Say the word, and I won’t go into work tomorrow. I’ll pack my stuff, get in my truck, and just drive.” I calmly excused myself from my client, grabbed my cordless phone, and rushed to the bathroom where I frantically called one of my best friends (and BAC editor) Crystal for advice. She said, “Take a chance. Do what you feel is right.” I knew that what I felt WAS right. Everything with Kim was so “right” that it was scary. I sent her a message back … It said: “Yes. Come to me.”
I was going crazy…I told him to “Say the word” and he wasn’t answering. I thought, “Oh, Lord, I blew it.” So I sat there patiently, at my desk, at a job I did’t care a lot about, just holding my breath and praying. When his message finally came through … I thought I would just about burst into tears. It all felt right. I quit my job on the spot, went home and started packing my stuff. I touched many things that day that meant a lot to me. I knew I couldn’t fit everything into my truck, so I said my goodbyes to most of my stuff. I left behind a lot of my past and a lot of things that had meaning and were a part of me. I knew that what really meant the most to me was waiting for me 2000 miles away. I packed all night and in the very early hours of Thanksgiving Day 2000, Bear and I began our journey…
Not that I was a dirty pig or anything, but I spent the next four days cleaning my house, getting rid of all my old crap, and clearing closet space. I packed my long-empty bachelor pad refrigerator with more food that it had ever seen. I bought flowers, got a haircut, and fixed all of the dead light bulbs. I was preparing for a new life. The whole time I felt such anxiety. “What if she didn’t like me more than a friend?” “What if she wasn’t the same person in the pictures?” “What if there was no attraction or chemistry?” I was a wreck .. especially the last 30 minutes before I was expecting her. I decided to do some work on my PC to pass the time, and then a “knock.” I ran to the door and swung it open. She was more beautiful than I could have ever hoped.
“Goddamn, it’s humid.” Those were the first words that came out of my mouth. I had just sat in my truck, at a 7-11 less than ten minutes away, thinking over and over – what AM i going to say when he opens the door? “Goddamn, it’s HUMID” is what all that careful thought afforded me. Four days and nights, I drove and ate and sat in hotel hot tubs. I could not help but wonder if I was doing the right thing. We only met two months prior, and via email. Will he make me feel in real life like he did in the messages and emails and phone calls? Will I like him? Will he really like me like I felt he did? And it was the same answer to every question. YES, this is it, this is what some only dream about, and I am DOING it! He answered the door, our eyes met, I said that silly thing about the humidity and we both laughed and hugged each other and it was…perfect.
I was a firm disbeliever in the power of the Internet to unite people. How could a person possibly fall in love with someone through email and phone calls? I heard all the stories and still thought it was bullshit created by scripted afternoon talk shows. I was online romance’s greatest nemesis, and then it happened to me. We’re still together, and have since gotten married. So next time you write off that person with the weird handle that adds you to their IM contact list, remember this story … sometimes online love really does happen.