She has done it again. Your best friend has left you stranded because she is running a half an hour late. Or she has blown you off for something else that came up. Or she’s spilled the secret you made her swear not to tell.
You are irritated and angry, and you start questioning why you are friends with her in the first place. And then she comes over at three in the morning because you are two days late and can’t sleep for worrying. Or she has taken the time to shop with you Our friends. At times, they can be our greatest joy and our deepest sorrow while you try to find just the right gift for your mother. Or she is there for you when you start complaining about your mother. Again. And she never reminds you that it is the third time this week you’ve complained about your mother.
Our friends. At times, they can be our greatest joy and our deepest sorrow. Those little annoyances can add up and seem bigger then they really are. But we have to overlook them. Partly, because we aren’t perfect either. But also because we have to learn to appreciate our friends for who they are. We have to accept the parts we don’t like and enjoy the parts we do.
I have a close friend whom I don’t get to see as often as I’d like. Through our years of friendship, I have learned one thing about her. If there is a man involved, it’s quite likely that I will be blown off.
So why am I still friends with her? Simple. She will talk to me for hours at a time and foot the long distance bill if I need to vent to her. She is the type of person that will always make you feel better and tell you that you are right even when you aren’t. And then she will be there to help you when you realize that you were actually wrong the entire time.
I’ve learned to accept certain parts of her that will never change. It is who she is, and it’s part of her personality. I ignore the parts I do not like and embrace the parts I do. It Things you don’t like should become insignificant when you remember why that person is your friend really is worth it in the end. I have a person who knows everything about me and who understands me better then most people. I have someone I trust completely. And the person you say those things about deserves to have a few things over looked from time to time.
The same goes for my mother in law. She was frustrated when a long time friend of hers came down to spend her vacation with us. She took over the trip and controlled what everyone did. My mother in law watched in mild irritation for a bit. Then she stopped and reminded herself why this woman was so important to her. This was the same woman that would drive the twenty hours if she needed her to. This was the same woman that would give her the shirt off of her back if she wanted it.
Sometimes you just need to look past what hurts you and what angers you. Sit down and weigh out how much it actually matters. We need to realize that our friends our just as flawed as we are. And what makes that person important to us is not what we dislike in them, but what we love about them.
This isn’t to say that you should stay friends with someone that continually hurts and uses you. A friendship where there is more hurt and frustration then comradeship is no friendship at all. Obviously, that would be an unhealthy friendship you would not want to continue. There are cases when you cannot overlook glaring hurts. But chances are that the good far outweighs the bad. Things you don’t like should become insignificant when you remember why that person is your friend. Remember why that person is so important to you; remember all the wonderful things they’ve done for you. And remember all the times they were there for you.
There are some things you are going to have to accept about your friends that will never change. Learn to look past that, and appreciate the person that you call a friend. Little annoyances come and go, but true friends are hard to come by.
Besides, the chance is good that your friends have to do the same with you.