Just friends?

Hope you had your fill of poems and sappy articles. This one is going to be a little different.

Ever had sex with one of your friends? Ever have great sex with one of your friends? Ever have great sex with one of your friends that you wouldn’t be in a relationship with? I have. I used to hang out with this guy 24-7. Great buddies, did everything together. I never felt really attracted to him but one night we ended up having sex. Mind you this is after we had been hanging out for a few years!!!! Now everything is changed. Suddenly, he’s in love with me and wants to be with me. I don’t feel the same but the sex was good and I figured why not be friends with benefits. I love him as a friend and care for him so it’s not like it’s a shallow thing.

So we continue having sex and I feel bad. Not because the sex is bad but because I know he wants to be with me and I’m not attracted to him that way. We talk about it and I tell him that we shouldn’t have sex if he can’t handle it, but he assures me it’s fine and it won’t affect our friendship. WRONG!!!!! To make a long story very short, we aren’t even speaking right now. He has decided to throw our whole friendship away simply because I don’t want to have sex with him anymore. Of course the whole reason I made this decision was because I knew it was making him feel hopeful that we might be together as a couple, and that’s not what I wanted. I was straight and honest with him from the very beginning, after all I thought this was every guys dream, yet now, sure enough, he wants more and I don’t.

I’m a little confused. When I was dating men and wanting a commitment they wanted nothing to do with me. Now I’m 30, living in my prime, all I want is sex and suddenly I’m marriage material. You guys talk about how confused you are with women’s lib shit and how you don’t know what we want. First men act like a commitment is a sentence to death and now I have to commit or lose my friend? Ok freaks!! And I don’t want to hear any shit about how all guys aren’t like this and blah, blah, blah. Try not to whine for a change. Call me crazy but I have a feeling mine isn’t the only story like this. I’ve been talking with other people that have had sex with a close friend and unless they both feel the same, it doesn’t seem to turn out very well. Someone always ends up wanting more and getting hurt. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t. It wasn’t worth losing him. What’s the bottom line? If you can’t handle having non-committal sex, then don’t.

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is an artist and writer.
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