(How to make him feel good while) blowing him off!

We’ve all been there, cornered by Mr. Wrong, searching frantically for a way out. Sometimes he’s a nice guy who you would have been interested in if he didn’t have a third arm and bad breath, and you really don’t want to hurt his feelings. Sometimes he’s a complete and total prick, the kind that you’re afraid might be a little too bad at taking rejection. Or maybe he’s the kind that likes to embarrass you by shouting across the bar, “Bitch, you think you’re too good for me, don’t you?” Well, there are simple ways out of these dilemmas: ways that will not only make them go away feeling good about themselves, but make them say thank you before leaving.

The first step is to try to keep him from coming over to you at all. The best way to do this is to avoid prolonged eye contact. When you see him looking at you just casually look away. Most men understand that when a woman looks away and doesn’t look back she’s not interested. This doesn’t mean make no eye contact, …treat him the same way you’d treat another woman if she introduced herself because no eye contact can often do the opposite of what you intend. If he feels that he can’t get your attention from afar he may try to get your attention by speaking to you. Sometimes there is no way out of it, especially if he’s feeling confident and ready to take a chance. In these cases you don’t want to be the one to burst his bubble. Guys are constantly putting themselves out there and risking rejection, the least we can do is make it easy on them. Be polite when he introduces himself, smile, and treat him the same way you’d treat another woman if she introduced herself. If he’s the kind that goes in for the kill immediately,and asks for your number before you’ve finished telling him your name then you’re saved. These are the easiest kind of men to turn down. They tend to be on the prowl, not interested in getting to know you, just out for a little pussy. It’s okay to laugh at how cheesy his lines are, he’ll just think you find him charming. Tell him you have a boyfriend, even if you don’t (this is the number one rule in all pick-up escapes). Act Flattered and say that you have to get back to your friend, that you haven’t seen her in a long time and that it’s supposed to be a girl’s night out alone. This kind of guy usually won’t mind you leaving; he’ll be ready to move on to his next prospect now that he knows you’re not available. If he still hounds you, feel free to knock him down a peg or two, he’s obviously an asshole.

The toughest kind of men to say no to are the sweet guys, the ones that are trying really hard but can’t seem to do anything but make themselves look like desperate dorks. Ladies, go easy on these poor fools, they know not what to do. The reason they act this way is because they’re only used to relating to other awkward men or to

Sometimes the sweet guys just need a little confidence boost.

Sometimes the sweet guys just need a little confidence boost.

their computers. They’re generally nice guys but just need a little help in the female department. The best thing you can do for them is give them a little confidence boost and maybe someday they’ll relax enough to score. Talk to them for a little while, not too long, but long enough so they don’t feel rejected. Then stick out your hand, smile and say, “Wow, it was really nice to meet you. (Insert compliment ex: You’re a funny guy.)” That is their cue to leave. Most of these men won’t take it to the next step because they don’t have the confidence, but they’ll imagine they might have had a shot if they’d just had the balls to ask. If by chance he does have the balls and asks you out, just say “I definitely would if I didn’t have a boyfriend. But thank you so much for asking.” At this point it’s okay to go back to your friends. And for God’s sake ladies, no phony numbers, no asking for his and never calling him. These are just ways to crush his ego without having to be there to watch it. Try to be nice without being flirtatious. It is possible to have a good time talking to some one even if you’re not interested, who knows maybe you’ll hear a good joke or two.

Crystal River See all posts by this author
is a world traveled poet and photographer
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