Unfortunately our lovers don’t always do what we want them to, and because men are human, sometimes they screw up royally. It’s easy to get swept up in anger and lash out before even giving him a chance to explain. But just remember, some day you’re going to screw up too, and the way you react to his mistakes can come back to haunt you.
First of all, let me clarify what I mean by “screw up”. I’m not talking about cheating or murder or anything even remotely that serious. I’m talking about forgetting something important, saying something insulting and stupid, embarrassing you in front of your friends or being an hour late. you should never pretend that something doesn’t bother you when it really does
When he pisses you off, which he will inevitably do, try to take a deep breath and imagining yourself in his shoes. See if you can picture yourself doing what he has done, if you can’t then picture a time in your life when you have really upset someone else and remember how bad you felt when you were begging for forgiveness. Identifying with his position will help you remain calm while he is pleading his case. Be patient, understanding and as objective as possible. There will plenty of time for you to be upset after you have heard all the facts. Give him a chance to finish before flying off the handle. If you interrupt him you may miss out on a key piece of information.
The more understanding you are with him, the better your chances are of hearing the truth. If you immediately attack, he will immediately become defensive and the situation can become severely blown out of proportion. Of course, you should never pretend that something doesn’t bother you when it really does. That always ends up back firing, and resulting in the behavior that drives men crazy. Like bringing it up a year later when you’re fighting about something completely unrelated. Men hate that, and it’s not hard to understand why. It’s a stupid pattern that we need to break. Talk out your problems until you come to peace with them and finish only when you’ve really forgiven him. Don’t beat a dead horse; it is not just annoying, it’s counterproductive. Bringing up arguments from the past can only serve to distract you from the problem at hand and make him feel so flustered that he can’t communicate with you, which will make him feel more inclined to lie.
Always remember that none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. Being compassionate and understanding will not only help your relationship, it will also teach you to be more forgiving of yourself when you do something you wish you hadn’t.