How to be a charmer

Lately I have been paying a lot of attention to people. Everywhere I go, I see people. On the Internet, at the grocery store, driving down the road. They do not know I am paying attention. They are so wrapped up in in their own world, they are not paying attention to ME. I put myself in their position and ask, “Would I behave in that manner?”. The answer is no about 99% of the time. If you are at dinner with a date, turn the damn cell phone off. Visiting a friend and dying to check your voice mail? Unless you are expecting a prospective employer with a job offer to call or a relative is in the hospital, wait until you get home. Nothing feels quite so crappy as the person you are with displaying how you are just the next best thing, until that call or message comes through.

Want to impress the woman/man you are out with? Pay attention to them. Stop If you are running late, call. Not because we don’t trust you, but because it’s courteous looking at who is watching you and make them feel special. Be kind to the cashier who is assisting you. Let them know you appreciate their help. By the same token, customer service people, be kind to the people paying your wages. Nothing is more frustrating than being in a store, spending my hard-earned money, and the cashier is yakking away on the phone to her boyfriend. And be sure to thank your customer. Grrr. That just gets me when I spend money in a store and they don’t even say thank you. I’d be willing to bet if your supervisor were standing there, you would be smiling and saying thank you. Lately I get blank stares as they toss my change into my palm. Were I the manager of people like this, they would get written up. And employers? Do us a favor. When someone takes the time to come to your business, express an interest in working for you, do them the courtesy of getting back to them, whether they got the job or not. NO news is NOT GOOD NEWS these days. It’s inconsiderate and downright annoying. It can be helped so no excuses, k?

It is common sense and courtesy to treat others as you wish to be treated. Is this a difficult concept nowadays? Follow through on things you say you will do. Do not make commitments you have no intention of keeping. Do not say yes when you really mean no. If you are running late, call. Not because we don’t trust you, but because it’s courteous. Do not let a reputation of always being late become yours. It is tacky. “Oh they are ALWAYS late”. It makes you look like you don’t care about others. Maybe you don’t, but all these small things add up. If you expect to be cared about, quit being late, constantly on your cell phone, always checking messages. These scream “I need validation”. Try a little kindness today and see if you don’t feel better!

I submit we all try a little “Pay It Forward”. You do not need to give someone a car though! On the contrary. Smile at the clerk taking your money. Thank your customer. Check your voicemail when you get home. Pay attention to the person you are with at lunch. Call that nice gentlemen that applied for a job and thank him for choosing your company, no matter if you plan to hire him or not. Let that person over in traffic. If you think about it, any number of small gestures can go a long ways. And who knows, it may get paid back to you just when you need it most.

Kim  See all posts by Kim
is a Lifestyle and Weight Loss Management Specialist and Food Psychology Coach who loves to ride motorcycles.
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