Fair weather friends

If you’re ever in a jam, here I am.
If you’re ever in a mess, S.O.S.
If you’re so happy, you land in jail. I’m your bail.
It’s Friendship, Friendship, just a perfect blendship.
When other friendships are soon forgot, ours will still be hot…….

From the song, “Friendship”
by Cole Porter, 1939

…….that is, until one of us hooks up with a guy.

You’re probably sitting there saying to yourself, “Not me.” But the truth is we’ve all been guilty of this at one point or another. What is it that makes us abandon our friends once there’s a serious whiff of testosterone in the room?

Your friends are not unlike your family… perhaps even better. You get to pick your friends

Sure, it’s really great in the beginning of a relationship. Everything’s anew. You have that warm fuzzy feeling every time you hear his voice and you want to avail yourself to that every chance you get. Does this mean that it’s okay to flake on outings with your friends? You may think that you won’t be missed. Heck, it’s only a get-together for margaritas — you do it all the time. But flaking out once turns into not seeing your friends for weeks, sometimes months, depending on when you decide to come up for air.

A male friend of mine gave me another perspective on this. His take was that he couldn’t remember the last girlfriend that he had that wasn’t suddenly a permanent resident. Staying over is cool, but since when does “staying over” refer to a whole month? And I quote, “Hey, don’t you have any friends? What the hell did you do with all your time before we met? Are your friends filling out a missing persons report right now?” Sounds to me that you might stand to benefit by not availing yourself quite as much.

Your friends are not unlike your family…….perhaps even better. You get to pick your friends. They will listen to your rants at 3:00 am. Your real friends will tell you like it is whether you like what you hear or not. They will go shopping with you, and tell you if your butt looks big in that dress. They will get drunk with you when the axe falls at work or when you are “suddenly” single. And after being ignored for months, they will tell you that you were too good for him.

In all honesty, I am willing to point this intrepid finger at myself. The minute I became “stupid in love,” my girlfriends would fall to the wayside, not hearing from me for weeks, sometimes months. Granted, the last time I exhibited this behavior was several years ago. But when it was all said and done, I realized that there’s no greater treasure than the people that love you unconditionally…….and are willing to wait this temporary insanity out.

Namely, your true “friends.”

Andrea See all posts by Andrea
is a BADASSCHICK Magazine™ contributor
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