Diaries of a naked house cleaner: Part Two

The most interesting part of naked housecleaning is of course is the people I meet and the experiences I have. I have now gone to thirteen appointments and each has been unique and each has taught me something. Not all of these appointments have been positive, but I have never once felt in danger or threatened. Before I go to an appointment, I leave the address and phone number with a male friend and tell him I will call by a certain time. His instructions are to wait until that time. If I don’t call, he will try my cell phone, and then call the police. As long as we are in constant communication this system seems to work and gives me a small sense of security.

Last issue I told you about my first six appointments and the men I encountered. This issue, you’ll hear the rest.The interesting thing is that the kinkiest stuff I have experienced in these appointments also feel the safest

Man #7 is an hour South of me again. I walk in to the TV on and sports blaring again, but this time there is another man there. My first instinct is to get out of there, but he tells me that the friend is on his way out. Before he leaves, the friend can’t help but to leer in a most ungentlemanly manner and I am relieved when he leaves. Man #5 wants to talk while I start cleaning. He wants to know about me, why I do this, how I got into it etc. He tells me about how he wants to take a pill for a bigger penis. He wants to tell me about his wife and that they just separated and he is sad and lost. He feels some sort of relief in talking to me because no one in his life knows about this yet. We then go into the bedroom for the now standard play part of my cleaning appointments. This time I brought my own toy because he asked me to. I love my toys and I love using them. In a giddy moment, I even let him use it on me. This is another line I have crossed and I start to wonder about where my boundaries actually are. I discover that I am too much of a sucker for a man’s sob story and I need to be tougher. I know that I will only do what I feel comfortable with, but that changes with every situation. As long I don’t feel like a prostitute, I am good. Anyhow, after all of this we sit on the beach for a few minutes and reflect. He says to call if I ever want to ‘hang out’ again. I leave saying thank you and that ‘no, you don’t need a pill for a bigger penis’.

Man #8 has a hard time scheduling with me because he lives with a male roommate. Finally I am able to come over and he seems nervous. There is no cleaning for me to do, so I lay down and start my usual dirty talk. “What to you like? How do you like it? What do you like to do to women, what turns you on? Etc.” He is very polite and gets really caught up in just answering my questions to the point where I wonder if he even remembers that I am there. He then asks very politely if he can suck on my nipple and I say okay. He does and then worriedly asks if that was okay, because he knows my rules are no touching. He keeps asking me and finally I masturbate him, just to shut him up. When it was time for me to go, he said that he had a wonderful time and that I was so sweet and innocent. I couldn’t help but to laugh at that.

Man #9 was actually set up as barter. He offers a ‘goddess massage’. This entails a soak in a hot tub, a towel dry, a 1.5-hour massage, tea, a paraffin foot soak and a foot massage. I am all over that. While I do my share of the barter, the cleaning, he starts telling me about his sexual scene. He loves serving women and is into the dominant/submissive scene. He tells me a lot about the scene, from what it is like to be Sub to how to train a Dom. He even has the equipment in his I get so wrapped up in my massage that I forget to make my safe call on time and my friend is on the verge of calling the police. Oops!garage for a dungeon. I find this all to be terribly interesting and ask a lot of questions. After all, how often does one get to learn about such things? The interesting thing is that the kinkiest stuff I have experienced in these appointments also feel the safest. This is because I get the sense that he really does respect and adore women. Incidentally, I get so wrapped up in my massage that I forget to make my safe call on time and my friend is on the verge of calling the police. Oops!

Man #10 was my grossest yet. He is a large waxy man with a big gut and a very small package. On the counter are some sex toys and my immediate assumption is that they are for me to use. I am definitely wrong on this one. He sits down on the big leather chair and starts sticking those toys up his behind. This was difficult to pretend to be turned on when in actuality I was disgusted. It wasn’t the toys in the behind that was bothering me, but it was the angle from which I was viewing it on the floor. Fortunately he asked me to turn around so he could view my own bottom. I stayed for a very long half hour, and then got into my car and starting screaming and laughing about how gross that was.

Man #11 was in the big city to the North again. He answered the door and I could immediately tell that he was very shy and timid. He showed me around his place, I stripped down to my underwear, and then he asked if I MINDED getting naked. How sweet! Then we went into the bedroom (no cleaning to be done here) and he told me that his biggest fantasy was to have a woman masturbate in front of him, telling him to stroke it. Well buddy, I thought, you are in luck! He starts to tell me about his girlfriend who moved back to Europe. She sent him a pair of her panties. I said I wanted to see, so he gets them out and eventually puts them on. He asks how he looks, and not knowing quite what to say, I say that they fit well. Then he shows me what else she sent him. A butt plug, and do I want to see how it works he asks? All I can think is oh no, not again! Fortunately the conversation changed and he forgot about it. Phew! So then I faked an orgasm, which he later told me he could tell was real. I must be good.

He evidently told his wife there was an ironing woman coming over and so that was to be my job.

He evidently told his wife there was an ironing woman coming over and so that was to be my job.

Man #12 was of the wealthy, married, older set. I am there he tells me, to do the ironing. There are a whole pile of jeans and a can of starch. He evidently told his wife there was an ironing woman coming over and so that was to be my job. Too bad I had never ironed jeans before in my life! While I am doing this, he remains completely clothed and starts a very long conversation about his affairs, setting up his ladies with each other and the sad tale of his prostate cancer. All of his infidelities came down to him loving oral sex and his wife, being the prim and proper Catholic that she is, doesn’t. One thing led to another and next thing I knew I was masturbating in front of him. I faked another wonderful orgasm, which he told me was real because of my spasms. I am very glad I know how to iron jeans now.

Man #13 I will refer to as the nipple man. He as the biggest nipples I have ever seen and loved to have them pinched, HARD. I met #13 outside of his office and then went into his space. It was deserted except for the real cleaning lady, which I found to be extremely ironic. Being there, in this deserted office felt extremely naughty and I loved it for that. I loved it so much, I let him too go down on me and it was just great. This was his last week at work there so he didn’t care about the mess I left on the chair. It was surreal.

What a profession Naked house cleaning is a bizarre profession I’ve chosen for my self, yet I really I enjoy it. I still get nervous and excited not knowing what kind of experience lies ahead of me on the other side of the door, but I suppose that is half the fun. If nothing else, I have supplemented my income during a horrible economy, leaned a lot about my sexuality, and picked up some great cleaning tips.

Ellie Brown See all posts by this author
Ellie, an educated feminist, has just discovered she's an exhibitionist!
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