Co-independency

Independence. It’s what all of us are trying to achieve — personally as well as financially. Our country’s history reflects how many people died for that very thing. But it’s taken on a new meaning in our day and age. Women in particular are striving for independence at all costs. I can’t help but wonder if lives aren’t “lost” as a result.

The Women’s Movement: Equal pay for equal work, the right to vote and certain civil rights. Back in the 60’s, there was a call for that. Women were being treated like You can maintain your independence and be in a committed relationship at the same time second-class citizens. During the 70’s and 80’s, we were getting what we wanted, when we wanted it, and getting paid equally for it. Something’s gone awry, though. With every cause, there’s an extreme….and we’ve hit upon it.

Suddenly, it’s politically incorrect to open a door for a woman, or to be chivalrous by any means. This makes for some very confused individuals of the male persuasion. It goes against the very fiber of the male psyche. Men want to take care of us. And deep down inside, I think that all women want to be taken care of. I don’t mean being barefoot in the kitchen. I mean emotionally and, to a certain degree, financial security is an issue.

You may feel like getting up on your soapbox and crying foul — what did we go through all this for? Truth of the matter is that they didn’t think about the repercussions of their actions back in the Seventies. Now we and future generations will pay for it. The pendulum will swing the other way eventually — it always does. But not before many will have to engage in damage control as a result of this “revolution.”

Before I get all the extreme Libbers on my back, let me say this: You can maintain your independence and be in a committed relationship at the same time. How? Back off a little — allow yourself to be a woman. Let him open a few doors for you or choose the movie that you go see. If you get lost while driving somewhere, let him figure it out even though you think you know better. Let him cook dinner once in awhile — you do the dishes.

When you find yourself dealing with a man who’s circling your airport, don’t immediately give the impression that you’re sporting a tough exoskeleton. Everyone deserves at least one chance. This may be a shock, but they’re looking for the same thing we are: Companionship. Try not to look at him as the enemy.

It would benefit us to take one step back after those grueling two steps forward. It is possible to graciously benefit from a chivalrous act while keeping our independence intact.

Andrea See all posts by Andrea
is a BADASSCHICK Magazine™ contributor
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