10 pick-up lines that DON’T work

Very few men can use a cheesy line without making themselves look like a complete tool. If you are not a handsome supermodel, famous actor or glutton for punishment I suggest you avoid overused lines and stick with a simple introduction. At least you won’t get laughed at. Well, you might, but your chances are better if you don’t throw out a lame come on she’s heard a million times. The dating Coming on too strong too soon is a definite no no scene is tough for everyone, but you poor guys seem to have it even tougher than we do. So here are some helpful hints about what to say to an attractive stranger.

First of all, be realistic, if she’s on the cover of this month’s playboy and you just graduated from high school with the title “most likely to make some one puke,” leave her alone. You’re only going to get rejected and make her uncomfortable. Don’t look for ways to humiliate yourself. Find some one in your own league or you’re doomed to fail. That doesn’t necessarily mean lower your standards, it just means don’t go for someone who you know would never talk to you. It’s a waste of her time and yours.

Look for a friendly face, some one who is smiling and appears open to conversation, but isn’t in one currently. I can’t stress this enough guys…don’t interrupt her if she’s in the middle of a conversation with her friends. It’s annoying and rude. You’ll lose points right off the bat, and she won’t be able to get rid of you fast enough.

Find a place next to her at the bar or by her table and wait patiently for her to finish. That doesn’t mean hover like a desperate vulture. Nothing turns a woman off more than the desperate vibe. Play it cool, like that’s just where you happen to be hanging out and she has nothing to do with it. When she’s finished talking to her friends try to make eye contact and smile. If she gives you a funny look and turns away, don’t bother. If she smiles and looks receptive say “hi”. Depending on your environment you can either ask her to dance or introduce yourself.

Be confident but not cocky, friendly but not weird, and try not to be a horn-dog. If by some miracle you get her to dance with you DON’T GRIND HER!!! There is nothing I hate more than some stranger trying to hump my leg like a new puppy.

Remember, a woman’s first instinct is to try to get rid of you. We get all dressed up to get your attention, and we want you to look at us, but we want you to leave us alone at the same time. Don’t ask me, I don’t understand it either. We’re a strange bunch.

The only way to make us want to talk to you is to either be very funny (women love a man who can make them laugh), or attractive and intelligent. We’re like you in a lot of ways. We want someone with a good personality and a nice physical appearance, just like you do. We can get past the superficial stuff when we get to know you, but we’re not going to want to get to know you if you’re feeding us overused lines.

Be spontaneous, say something funny, but real. Smile in a warm, non-threatening way. Don’t be overly aggressive or overly sexual. Coming on too strong too soon is a definite no-no. Most of all, be original.

Below is a list of pickup lines that have been beaten to death. They’re not only bad because we’ve heard them before, they’re just plain bad. Avoid them like the plague. Good luck.

10 pick-up lines that don’t work

  1. Can I borrow your cell phone? I told my mom I’d call her when I met the girl of my dreams.
  2. Was your father a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the skies and placed them in your eyes.
  3. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
  4. I lost my number. Can I borrow yours?
  5. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see.
  6. Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow? Should I call you or nudge you?
  7. If I told you that you have a great body would you hold it against me?
  8. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
  9. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  10. They should rewrite the alphabet, because u and I should be together.
Crystal River See all posts by this author
is a world traveled poet and photographer
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